Negotiating is a valuable skill that can make a big difference. It can lead to better pay, lower loan costs, and more savings over time. Whether you’re buying a home, getting a car, or asking for a raise, here are some of the dos and don’ts of negotiating to help you have a better chance of getting the results you want.
Do Your Research
Whether you’re buying a car or hiring a landscaper, it’s important to do your homework. If you’re shopping for a car, check the usual price range for the make and model you want, and see what the best deals are out there.
Websites like Kelley Blue Book or Edmunds can help you find a price range for what sellers offer. You might even print out some comparisons. The more information you have, the better you can handle the conversation and ensure you get a good deal.
Prepare and Practice
Practice makes perfect in almost everything, including negotiation. You wouldn’t take a test without studying or play a game without practice, right?
So, make sure to rehearse and polish your negotiation plan ahead of time. Gather all the information you need to make a strong case, whether you’re negotiating with a car dealer or your boss. Focus on the key points that may persuade them so you can present your proposal confidently.
For example, if you’re asking for a 10% raise, show the extra work you’ve done and how you’ve contributed to the company’s success.
Know Your Bottom Line
In addition to preparing for your negotiation, it’s important to set a bottom line—the lowest outcome you’re willing to accept before walking away.
For example, if you’re hiring a landscaper, your bottom line might be the highest amount you’re willing to pay for the project based on your budget and the going rates in your area. Knowing this number ahead of time helps you stay focused during negotiations and ensures you find a deal that fits your budget and needs.
Take a Friendly (But Firm) Approach
When it comes to the dos and don’ts of negotiating, many people think being aggressive is key, but that’s not true. A friendly but firm tone is much more effective.
You want to show that you won’t easily back down or be talked out of what you want, but also be open to finding common ground with the other party. This approach not only helps you win them over but also builds trust for future negotiations.
Listen More Than You Speak
Negotiating is a two-way street, but the best results come from listening more than talking. Great negotiators use the 80/20 rule: they listen 80% of the time and speak only 20% of the time.
This approach helps the other side feel heard, understand your perspective, and feel more comfortable giving you what you want. Prepare a few key questions in advance to help guide the conversation toward your desired outcome.
Know When to Walk Away
There will be times when negotiations aren’t going your way. When that happens, it’s important to know when to walk away. Just like having a bottom line, you should have a clear exit plan. Recognizing when a deal isn’t working out helps you leave on good terms without taking a loss.
Don’t Say Yes too Quickly
It’s natural to feel excited when a negotiation is going your way, but don’t rush to accept the first offer you get. Instead, go through one or two more rounds of negotiating to get closer to your ideal outcome.
For example, if you’re asking for a 20% raise and your boss offers 10%, don’t just say yes. Ask questions and aim to push it up to at least 15%.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Dictate Your Approach
Emotions can run high during negotiations, but a great negotiator knows how to stay calm. If you notice your heart racing or your voice getting shaky, take a few deep breaths to center yourself. If you’re in a meeting and can’t do that, try sipping some cold water and adjusting your posture. This will help you stay focused on the outcome rather than getting caught up in the emotions.
Don’t Negotiate With Someone Who Isn’t a Decision Maker
Always try to find out who the decision-maker is and focus on connecting with them. If you don’t, you might end up wasting time or missing out on a successful negotiation. If you can’t reach the decision-maker directly, use the opportunity to build trust and confidence in you and your proposal.
Sometimes, the decision-maker is busy and relies on someone else to handle initial meetings. By being personable, caring, and engaging, you increase your chances of getting a follow-up with the right person.
Don’t View Negotiations as Competition
Don’t view negotiations as a competition. If you see it as an “I win, you lose” situation, you’re likely to end up with poor results. Instead, think of negotiation as a way to find a solution that works for both sides.
When you aim for a win-win outcome, you create a more positive atmosphere and build better relationships, which can lead to more successful negotiations in the future.
Don’t Rush the Conversation
Take your time during the conversation—remember, you’re dealing with people, not just decisions. Give them the space to think things over and find solutions.
Don’t expect an answer right away; for example, getting a response about a raise could take weeks or even months. Be patient, but don’t hesitate to follow up and keep pursuing what you want.
The Bottom Line
Negotiating doesn’t have to feel intimidating. With a few simple strategies, you can feel more confident and in control. Start by knowing when to walk away, have a clear goal in mind, and make listening your top priority. By focusing on these dos and don’ts of negotiating, you’ll be better prepared to find common ground and reach an outcome that works for you.
Remember, negotiation is a skill you can improve with practice, and with the right approach, you’ll feel more comfortable and ready for any conversation that comes your way.
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